THE POSITIVE POWER OF FATHERSB
BY LUCINDA KASEN
Some years ago, officials at the Kruger National Park and Game Reserve in South Africa were faced with a growing elephant problem. The population of African elephants, once endangered, had grown larger than the park could sustain. Measures had to be taken to thin the ranks. A plan was devised to relocate some of the elephants to other African game reserves. Being enormous creatures, elephants are not easily transported. Therefore, a special harness was created to air-lift the elephants and fly them out of the park using helicopters.
The helicopters were up to the task, but, as it turned out, the harness wasn’t. It was able to handle the juvenile and adult female elephants, but not the huge African bull elephants. A quick solution had to be found. The decision was made to leave the much larger bulls at Kruger and relocate only some of the female elephants and juvenile males.
The problem was solved. The herd was thinned out, and all was well at Kruger National Park. Sometime later, however, a strange problem surfaced at the younger elephants’ new home, Pilanesburg National Park.
Rangers at Pilanesburg began finding the dead bodies of endangered white rhinoceros. At first, poachers were suspected, but the huge rhinos had not died of gunshot wounds. Plus, their precious horns were left intact. The rhinos appeared to be killed violently, covered with deep puncture wounds. Not much in the wild can kill a rhino, so the rangers set up hidden cameras throughout the park.
The result was shocking. The culprits turned out to be marauding bands of aggressive juvenile male elephants. These were the very elephants relocated from Kruger National Park a few years earlier. The young males were caught on camera chasing down the rhinos, knocking them over, and goring them to death with their tusks. The juvenile elephants were terrorizing all of the other animals in the park. Such behavior was very rare among elephants. Something had gone terribly wrong.
Some of the park rangers settled on a theory. What had been missing from the relocated herd was the presence of the large dominant bulls that remained at Kruger. In natural circumstances, the adult bulls provide modeling behaviors for younger elephants, keeping them in line.
To test the theory, the rangers constructed a bigger and stronger harness, then flew in some of the older bulls left behind at Kruger. Within weeks, the bizarre and violent behavior of the juvenile elephants stopped completely. The older bulls let the younger bulls know that their behaviors were not elephant-like at all. In a short time, the younger elephants were following the older bulls around, learning how to be elephants.
Real men protect the vulnerable, not assault them. True men grow up having learned that most basic tenet of manhood is the father’s job to teach it.1
“Fathers” and “Fatherhood” are concepts the Old and New Testament directly reference 1,932 times. Without a doubt, fatherhood has long been on the mind of God.
Elder D. Todd Christofferson, an Apostle in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, in a April 2016 conference address, said: “I speak today of fathers. Fathers are fundamental in the divine plan of happiness, and I want to raise a voice of encouragement for those who are striving to fill well that calling. To praise and encourage fatherhood and fathers is not to shame or discount anyone. I simply focus today on the good that men can do in the highest of masculine roles —husband and father.
“As a Church, we believe in fathers. We believe in the ideal of the man who puts his family first. We believe that ‘by divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.’[1] We believe that in their complementary family duties, ‘fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.’[2] We believe that far from being superfluous, fathers are unique and irreplaceable.
“The role of father is of divine origin, beginning with a Father in Heaven and, in this mortal sphere, with Father Adam.
“The perfect, divine expression of fatherhood is our Heavenly Father. His character and attributes include abundant goodness and perfect love. His work and glory are the development, happiness, and eternal life of His children. Fathers in this fallen world can claim nothing comparable to the Majesty on High, but at their best, they are striving to emulate Him, and they indeed labor in His work. They are honored with a remarkable and sobering trust.
“Again, the ultimate model is our Heavenly Father, who so loved us, His spirit children, that He gave us His Only Begotten Son for our salvation and exaltation. Jesus said, ‘Greater love hath no man than this that a man lay down his life for his friends.’[3] Fathers manifest that love as they lay down their lives day by day, laboring in the service and support of their families.
“Certainly teaching the gospel is a shared duty between fathers and mothers, but the Lord is clear that He expects fathers to lead out in making it a high priority. (And let’s remember that informal conversations, working and playing together, and listening are important elements of teaching.) The Lord expects fathers to help shape their children, and children want and need a model.
“Loving the mother of his children —and showing that love —are two of the best things a father can do for his children. This reaffirms and strengthens the marriage that is the foundation of their family life and security.
“Some men are single fathers, adoptive fathers, or stepfathers. Many of them strive mightily and do their very best in an often difficult role. We honor those who do all that can be done in love, patience, and self-sacrifice to meet individual and family needs. It should be noted that God Himself entrusted His Only Begotten Son to an adoptive father. Surely some of the credit goes to Joseph for the fact that as Jesus grew, He ‘increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.’[4]
Elder Christofferson continues, “To my brethren, the fathers in this Church, I say, I know you wish you were a more perfect father. I know I wish I were. Even so, despite our limitations, let us press on. Let us lay aside the exaggerated notions of individualism and autonomy in today’s culture and think first of the happiness and well-being of others. Surely, despite our inadequacies, our Heavenly Father will magnify us and cause our simple efforts to bear fruit.
“Alma, in the Book of Mormon, testified to his son: ‘Behold, I say unto you, that it is [Christ] that surely shall come …; yea he cometh to declare glad tidings of salvation unto his people.’
“‘And now, my son, this was the ministry unto which ye were called, to declare these glad tidings unto this people, to prepare their minds; or rather … that they may prepare the minds of their children to hear the word at the time of his coming.’”[5]
“That is the ministry of fathers today. God bless and make them equal to it.”[6], 7
In another address given by Brother Devin G. Durrant, First Counselor in the Sunday School General Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, during the April 2018 General Conference, taught, “I plead for heaven’s help as we strive to be Christ like teachers in our homes. Today I direct my remarks to all parents and all who desire to be parents. Many of you are raising children now. For others, that time might come soon. And for still others, parenthood may be a future blessing. I pray we all recognize the joyful and sacred responsibility it is to teach a child.
“Today let’s contemplate a few of the wonderful opportunities we have to teach our children in our homes.
“Let’s begin with Family Home Evening, (when a family gathers together to study the word of God, play games or other wholesome recreational activities) which was a high priority in the faith-filled home where I was raised. I don’t remember specific lessons taught at family home evening, but I do remember that we never missed a week, I knew what was important to my parents.
“I recall one of my favorite family home evening activities. Dad would invite one of his children to take ‘The Test.’ He would give the child a series of instructions like, ‘First, go into the kitchen and open and close the fridge. Then run into my bedroom and grab a pair of socks from my dresser. Then come back to me, jump up and down three times, and say, Dad, I did it!’
“I loved it when it was my turn. I wanted to get every step just right, and I cherished the moment when I could say, ‘Dad, I did it!’ This activity helped build my confidence and made it easier for a restless boy to pay attention when Mom or Dad taught a gospel principle.
Family Prayer is another prime opportunity to teach.
I love how President N. Eldon Tanner’s father taught him during family prayer. President Tanner said this:
“I remember one evening when we were kneeling in family prayer, my father said to the Lord, ‘Eldon did something today he shouldn’t have done; he’s sorry, and if you will forgive him, he won’t do it anymore.’
“That made me determined not to do it anymore —much more than a trouncing would have done.
“As a parent, I know we can’t ever pray too much as a family.
“We are like the Savior, whose teaching often did not happen in a synagogue but in informal, everyday settings —while eating a meal with His disciples, drawing water from a well, or walking past a fig tree.
Brother Durrant went on to say, “when I was a teenager, my dad and I enjoyed challenging each other to see who had the strongest grip. We would squeeze the other’s hand as tightly as possible in an effort to make the other grimace in pain. It doesn’t seem like much fun now, but somehow it was at the time. After one such battle, Dad looked me in the eyes and said, ‘You have strong hands, Son. I hope your hands always have the strength to never touch a young lady inappropriately.’ He then invited me to stay morally clean and help others do the same.
“Lastly, our most impactful parental teaching is our Example. We are counseled to be ‘an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.’[1]
“During a recent trip, my wife, Julie and I attended church and saw this verse in action. A young man, soon to leave for his mission, spoke in sacrament meeting.
“He said, ‘You all think my dad is such a good man at church, but …’ He paused, and I anxiously wondered what he might say next. He continued and said, ‘He’s a better man at home.’
“I thanked this young man afterward for the inspiring tribute he had paid his father. I then found out that his father was the bishop of the ward. Even though this bishop was serving his ward faithfully, his son felt that his best work was done at home.
“As parents cherish each other and offer righteous examples, children are eternally blessed.
“For all of you who are striving to do your best to teach in your homes, may you find peace and joy in your efforts. And if you feel you have room for improvement or need greater preparation, please humbly respond as the Spirit prompts you and bind yourself to act. Elder L. Tom Perry said, ‘The health of any society, the happiness of its people, their prosperity, and their peace all find common roots in the teaching of children in the home.’[2]
Brother Durrant concludes with, “I plead for heaven’s help as we strive to be Christ like teachers in our homes.” [3]
There are many accounts of Jesus Christ, during his mortal ministry, where he relied upon the mercy, kindness and support of His Father in Heaven. Even as a young boy He was found teaching in the temple with His Father’s support. “And when they saw him, they were amazed; and his mother said unto him, Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us? Behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing, and he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? Wist ye not that I must be about my Father’s business?”[4]
Another account towards the end of His life, Christ taught his apostles about His death and resurrection. “Behold, the hour cometh, yea, is now come, that ye shall be scattered, every man to his own, and shall leave me alone: and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with me.”[5]
In Luke we read about the Savior in the Garden of Gethsemane. “And he was withdrawn from them about a stone’s cast, and kneeled down, and prayed. Saying Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will but thine, be done. And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him.”[6] At the very time of need, an angel was sent by the Father to strengthen the Savior.
And then when the Savior was hanging on the cross, and the end was near, “And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit; and having said thus, he gave up the ghost.”[7]
It is my testimony that fathers can be a very positive power in our lives. If that is not the case with our earthly father, our Father in Heaven is there for each of us, “we are not alone.” [8]
It is my prayer that each of us will be a force of positive power, especially in the life of our family members. Let us all commit to be loving, kind, and merciful to those we love and care about. Let each of us allow the Spirit to dwell with us as we intentionally love and support our family.
For a man, there is no calling as high as that of a righteous patriarch, married in the house of the Lord, presiding over His children. Even God himself has us address Him as “our Father who art in heaven” [9]
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1- In the Absence of Fathers: A Story of Elephants and Men By Fr. Gordon J. Macrae On June 20, 2012
2- The Family: A Proclamation to the World; The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Sept 23, 1995
3- The Family: A Proclamation to the World; The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Sept 23, 1995
4- John 15:13
5- Luke 2:52
6- Alma 39:16
7- Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the 12 Apostles “Fathers”, April 2016, General Conference Address
8- 1 Timothy 4:12
9- Elder L. Tom Perry, “Mothers Teaching Children in the Home”, April 2010 General Conference Address
10- Devin G. Durrant, Sunday School General Presidency, “Teaching in the Home —a Joyful and Sacred Responsibility”, April 2018, General Conference Address
11- Luke 2:48-49
12- John 16:32
13- Luke 22:41-43
14- Luke 23:46
15- Matthew 6:9, Nephi 13:9; Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, page 496
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