Delivered by Bishop Scott J. Wakefield; Feb 24, 2019
My purpose today is to describe the ways that our Savior, Jesus Christ can help us when we fall short of expectations. There are many expectations set before us. Some of them are divine and designed to bless us and lead us toward eternal life with God. Others relate to this life, and in some cases are designed to lead us away from God.
And then some of them are just silly, like breakfast food! Have you ever noticed that we are even expected to eat certain things for breakfast? I have an opinion about this. It seems to me that, as a culture, we have lost all of our creativity when it comes to breakfast. We basically have 3 options: cold cereal, some kind of egg, or carbs with maple syrup. I often look around for something else to try, but…this idea of acceptable food for the a.m. has solidified itself in my brain. It has been codified. I stare at the box of cold cereal – breakfast of champions? Really? I don’t feel like a champ! Why not hamburgers? Why not mashed potatoes and gravy? Have you ever felt a little foolish for eating something that is not really “breakfast food?”
Our society is saturated with expectations. From the time we get up in the morning we are told how to live, what to eat, and where we are to go. Often, we create unreasonable ideas about what we should do or not do, how we should feel or not feel, and how we should look or not look.
And so, under this constant barrage of expectations we must find healthy ways of dealing with the pain of falling short. Some ways are founded on faith in Jesus Christ and lead to relative peace in our lives. Other ways of dealing with this are not and lead to discouragement and depression. I won’t spend much time describing the unhealthy patterns, but I will suggest them briefly.
With sin comes the pain of falling short and we call it guilt. Without Christ there is no way to get away from that guilt. Our guilt becomes shame and we feel hopeless. Moroni noted: “And if you have not hope, ye must needs be in despair; and despair cometh because of iniquity.”
At this moment of pain, Satan tempts us to ignore or disobey God’s commandments (2 Nephi 2:13). He tells us that there is no God, and there is “no Christ, neither has been, nor ever will be. (Jacob 7:9) This seems to make it so much easier. Without a God to set high standards, we justify to ourselves that we are free to do whatever we want without the guilt and the pain.
These temptations of Satan lead us into a state of disbelief.
We are given many expectations by our family, especially our parents. Some of these expectations are inspired by our Heavenly Father, others are not. In either case, our parents have high expectations of us and want us to do well.
Each of our families have certain standards and expectations. When we fall short of the family standard, we may feel the pain of their disappointment and loneliness as we pull away from our family.
At this moment of pain, Satan tempts us to rebel and knowingly step further away from the family tradition. To justify this, we will seek to discredit or dishonor our parents. After all, if we come to believe like Laman and Lemuel that our parents are “led away by the foolish imaginations of [their] heart” (1 Ne 17:20) – it becomes easy to justify our own behavior.
These temptations of Satan lead us into a state of disobedience.
In addition to expectations from God and our family, our personal goals and aspirations inspire us to greatness. We want to be successful, and happy, and beautiful, and rich, and important. The list goes on…
Some of these expectations are inspired by the Holy Ghost, others are not. In either case, we have high expectations of ourselves that we connect to feelings of self-worth. When we fall short of our own standard, through laziness, lack of ability, or any other reason – we feel discouraged, worthless, or depressed.
At this moment of pain, Satan tempts us to give up, to just quit. We are reminded every day of our own failures and everyone else’s great successes. And so, to justify our failures we might lower our expectations, make excuses, or distract ourselves with other things.
These temptations of Satan lead us into a state of apathy or eve disdain for ourselves.
Brothers and Sisters, there is a better way to deal with the pain of falling short. Christ is the “way.” He is the only way.
Elder Corbridge of the Seventy said: Jesus Christ is the Way. He is Light and Life, Bread and Water, the Beginning and the End, the Resurrection and the Life, the Savior of the world, the Truth, and the Way. There is only one way to happiness and fulfillment. He is the Way. [end quote]
When we sin, we feel the pain of falling short and we call it guilt.
Satan tempts us to lower our standards and stop believing in God.
But Christ teaches us to repent. He said: (3 Ne 9:22) “whoso repenteth and cometh unto me as a little child, him will I receive, for of such is the kingdom of God. Behold, for such I have laid down my life, and have taken it up again; therefore repent, and come unto me…and be saved.”
King Benjamin teaches that coming unto the Lord as a little child means becoming “submissive, patient, and full of love; willing to submit to all things” – even the requirement of repentance. When we repent – it means confessing to God (and sometimes to others) the nature of our sins. This can be difficult and embarrassing. Additionally, when we repent it means forsaking the sin and committing to never doing it again. At times, it can be difficult to make that commitment.
When we hesitate to repent, Jesus reminds us that “…the remission of sins bringeth meekness, and lowliness of heart; and because of meekness and lowliness of heart cometh the visitation of the Holy Ghost, which Comforter filleth with hope and perfect love…” (Moroni 8: 26)
If we choose to repent, Jesus can offer us peace in this life because His grace is sufficient for us. He can make us clean, He can sanctify us, He can purify our hearts, cleanse our hands, and we can become holy, without spot.
“Therefore may God grant unto you, my brethren [and sisters], that ye may begin to exercise your faith unto repentance…” (Alma 34:17) “[For] as oft as [His people] repented and sought forgiveness, with real intent, they were forgiven.” (Moroni 6:8)
This promise is available to all of us – regardless of what we have done or not done. Christ’s grace is sufficient for you and for me. He will help us overcome the pain of falling short. I testify of the real and lasting peace that comes through repentance and faith in Jesus Christ.
When we fall short of the family standard, we feel disappointment and loneliness.
Satan tempts us to rebel.
But Christ teaches us to understand an eternal perspective. Through Latter-day prophets, the Lord teaches us that the “family is ordained of God” and that each of us “are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents.” (The Family: A Proclamation to the World)
They also teach us that our parents have a divine mandate to “to rear their children in love and righteousness.” This helps us to understand our parents and the importance of our family in this life. With this understanding, we will find it easier to honor our father and our mother. We might even come to describe our parents, as Nephi did, as “goodly parents.”
In a recent conference, Elder Gerard, taught that: When we understand who our Heavenly Father is, the divine role of our earthly parents, and our true identity, it makes it easier to “rise above the distractions of this world and stay fixed on the vision of eternity before us.” [end quote]
When we are distracted by the Father of all lies … to seek for power, and authority, and riches, and the vain things of the world. (3 Nephi 6:15) The Lord teaches us to…”seek not for riches, but for wisdom, and behold the mysteries of God will be unfolded unto you.” (D&C 6:7) I witness that Christ will help us overcome feelings of disappointment and loneliness, by giving us an eternal perspective.
When we fall short of our own goals or expectations, we feel discouraged and worthless.
Satan tempts us to quit.
Christ teaches us to trust in Him. At a critical moment in Nephi’s life, he was feeling very discouraged. He exclaimed, “O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh. …Nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted. O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh;”
When we feel that we are weak, Jesus says, “my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” (Ether 12: 27)
When we feel that our performance was poor, Nephi invites us to “pray unto the Father in the name of Christ, the he will consecrate thy performance unto thee, that thy performance may be for the welfare of thy soul.” (2 Nephi 32:9) Even in our weaknesses and poor performance, Christ is able to leverage it for our good unto salvation.
When we selfishly focus too much on our own problems or shortcomings, Jesus the Christ says: “he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.” (Matthew 10:39) When we feel that we have sinned or that the power of God is absent in our lives, our Savior says, “my grace is sufficient for you…and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, and deny not [my] power, then are ye sanctified, unto the remission of your sins. (Moroni 10:33)
Isaiah teaches us about the hand of Mercy, extended to us by the Lord. He said:
“For all this, His anger is not turned away, but his hand is stretched out still.” In other words, His law and expectations are not turned away. The justice of God is still in force. But, in spite of all of our weaknesses, all of our bad ideas, all of our shortcomings, His hand of mercy is stretched out still. It is extended to each of us. His grace is sufficient.
I am profoundly grateful for the hope and strength I feel, because of His Grace, especially in moments when I am keenly aware of my own weaknesses and sins. I testify that He has made weak things become strong in my life. And that I can do all things that are expedient through Him.
Brothers and Sisters, who will we believe and follow when we fall short?
Will we listen when Satan tempts us to ignore God, rebel against our families, and get down on ourselves? Or will we put our faith in Jesus Christ, begin to exercise our faith unto repentance, embrace an eternal perspective, and put our trust in His Grace?
I pray that we will.
I pray that we will rely on Him for peace and comfort when we fall short.
I pray that we will overcome the vain things of this world.
Christ is the “way.” He is the only way.
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